BingBamBoomBASS

y m i so upset..?

deep down inside i want u to ask me..

deep down inside i want u to want to see me

deep down inside i want u to feel excited to see me

but in reality… all these arent going to come true..

someone taught me to not have expectations.. to not hope.. to not wish…

but in reality.. its hard.. it so hard if u really want to spend time with that person. want to be with her.. have fun with her..

but these times are.. diminishing.. i really want to spend time with u, talk to u, laugh with u, see u laugh, smile, sleep.

why is it so hard not to have expectations? isnt it supposed to be easiest to not do anything?

i really wish u would ask me… “would u be my…” but i guess.. i dun fit the criteria ba..

once u told me u wished we could do smthn tt would let us be close to each other without looking weird.. but i guess u forgot..

if u ever ask me, in the future.. i dun think i would be as happy i would or supposed to be.. like im asking u to ask me..

hhaha why sia.. y i like this? but.. m i really too much?? is this too much? only reason i can give is probably i really dun fit ur criteria. so i guess… no matter wad.. ill be a substitute, 2nd best. in soccer, in life, in school, in everything..

number 2. in ur heart.

i really feel very small now.. like im trying to squeeze myself back into ur life.. trying has become harder and harder. like calling a cellphone and just praying for someone to pick the phone up. i really feel so insignificant. u dont see it.. but i do. im not sensitive. its juz obvious. i really dunno if this will make it to its 7th month let alone 10 yrs. i really dun feel u there anymore. u are pushing me away. and this is not happening slowly anymore. now i finally understand y love is always compared to a rose. Its because u never really see the thorns until u finally pick it up. i dun think i ever felt so lonely b4. ur presence is like being faked. i dun even noe if u want to be there anymore. the lies u tell. the promises u break. the secrets u hide. one is ok. 2 is acceptable. but i guess u urself noe what uve done.. if u dunno or forget, den im speechless. overtaken by everything. suppressed by ur negative emotions. push aside by ur negative thoughts. all that stubbornness.. ur unwillingness to try. i guess for so long, u still dunno how much the things u do and say mean to me. i guess i realize now that equal relationships are. i tot that by making u happy, u would give me some happiness back too. i guess that was juz wishful thinking.. if u ever read this, theres a 99% tt u’ll get mad without thinking about the real feelings behind this post.. u say my expectations are too high.. but is wanting some love and care back really too high? if you dont love me anymore u shld juz say it out and stop hurting the both of us.. this coldness. the hiding.. its like i dunno you anymore. u were the girl thats smile could brighten up my darkest of days. u still are. i guess if u ever u see this post ull get upset.. but tts y im kind of hesitating on clicking the “create post” button. i just want you to try and understand a little.. because i still want to marry you. to live with you. i just want you to love me again.. i just miss those times whr no one cared about personal space. because all we needed was each other. or was that just my thinking. good night.

stackedrubbish:

uruwhore:

colormevisual:

xxx-antipop:

xkillthevoice:

I am a ruder! ~

RIDE WITH THE ROCKERS

RAILING SEX.

MOMIJI MANJUU! MOMIJI MANJUU!

DA DON VIDIVI DA DON

Yoroshiku POP! We ROCK!

sometimes i feel everything has been stripped from me..

sometimes i juz feel so alone when i see “signed out”

sometimes i juz feel that the tiny strings keeping my sanity together, can’t take much more

i understand

but its so hard..

its so hard it hurts..

i just need someone to understand..

i need you to understand.

rendered so helpless

so weak

so vulnerable

so pitiful

is this me?

i hate me.

why does being me hurt?

why does everything hurt.

its not your fault.

but these string could use a little help..

these strings, starting to fray

might not make it through another day

one by one they snap

like strings on a fretboard, which played its last tune

will never get to see another sunrise.

i love you

i miss you

i need you

   - the cookie that has lost its dough