why?
dont think u gonna read this, dont think u gonna care either, knowing how u view this relationship. u say i only make u feel loved only a few times.. as much as i would want to say u have never made me feel this way, i start to think back.. actually everytime i kiss u, i feel loved. so its gotta be everytime huh? i juz dun see why u choose not to look on the bright side..
are u saying that everytime u ask me to do something, n i do it, it does nt make u feel loved?
everytime i accompany u home it doesnt?
everytime i bring a jacket for u, it doesnt?
everytime i hold ur hand it doesnt?
everytime i kiss u it doesnt?
everytime i find u after work it doesnt?
everytime i look u in the eyes it doesnt?
everytime i sms u it doesnt?
everytime i worry about u it doesnt?
everytime i try and protect u it doesnt?
does our relationship only meant to serve u? u never really come and see me during trainings.. u never really follow me. u never really see my performances. u never really stop thinking.. u know some people might take my jealousness and anger a good thing. have u ever thought about wad made me jealous? i want you so much that im jealous. i love you so much till im jealous. when i am angry like ytd while waiting for 168, have u ever though y i would be angry? im trying to protect u! because i love you? cant u see it as a good thing instead? would u rather me not care, at all? seriously, i can say “oh ok” “it doesnt matter” my whole life to u if u want me not to care. likewise i want u to care too.
for some reason it seems im here to serve u. like a servant. like a dog. u said u never thought i would be the type of guy u fell in love is. wad would u rather me be? prince charming? buy flowers chocolates make u feel loved while u juz sit there? sorry, baby. but i dun think tt kind of guy exists.. even if they do, they probably juz want ur body or money. im here for neither. i would gladly buy things for u. but unlike me ure nt v predictable.. once u told me u dun like mushy stuff but now u do, so i dunno wad to do. u tell me u dun like swt stuff, but u like chocolates n stuff. im v confused wad to do. u say i hurt u, i keep it in so i wont hurt u, u tell me not to. u say we are different. but u say we are the same.
i just asking for a little love back from u and a little more positive thinking. its okay to think, but if u want to, think happy. recently i dunno wad i did to u but u seem worse den any of our first 4 months. serious ive been trying 150% these last 2 months but u seem more difficult.. and listening to wad u said, its seems like u want more. if u want more.. u got to give me some too. hurting doesnt mean u love me.. hurting juz hurts me too. i noe wad i say hurts. but its my point of view. and some of it might be unbiased truth.
im trying to understand u but u wont talk. but u dun want to understand me. u always say u are hurting but if u dont do anything i wont be gone. at this rate u going to destroy urself. this past 2 months i have loved u with all my heart and all my soul. all u can say is i only make u feel loved a few times.. if somehow u changed ur mind to forget all the hurt and rmb all the loving, wouldnt it make it tt i loved u alot and only hurt u a few times? i dunno.
u hide things and expect things to get better. u run away and leave me hurting for ur sake. is this how much u love me? u say u are going to break. WAD ABOUT ME!? im the same but im still here. im hoping for a miracle to prove me wrong now while im typing this. a “i love you” text now would mean alot to me.
i dun think i expect alot from u? but to u its obviously alot. the things u expect from me to u arent alot, but to me, it means alot because the whole rational behind it is “i love you”. asking me to not do wadever is almost like asking me to not love u a little n i cant.. sometimes i flare up. coz all this bottled anger i keep from u, so u might be happier explodes a little. but all this is for u! everything i do is for u! u ask me to stay ill stay. u ask me to do anything ill do it for u!
I LIVE FOR U! I BREATHE FOR U! this is wad it means for me to love u.. but in this relationship u still choose to be “independent”. this is not a relationship. we are supposed to merge together but it juz seems like im completely merged to u and u only merge alittle with me so now i look lyk a friggin parasite.
i duno u juz cant forget stuff and u juz choose not forget or not see the stuff i do for u.. really i mean me trying to be gentlemenly does not make u feel loved? im fierce coz i juz want a little love back.. u dun even come to find me in my class.. n im just haha 2 stories below u hahaha wad a joke.. does embarrassment out way the love u have for me?
u are really a great girl.. sometimes it juz seems that im older.. we both haven been in a relationship before but to me juz following my heart juz does everything.. the first time we were together.. u were so cold.. but u really dont think u were happier den last time? coz now u feel so warm n fuzzy.. even if ur heart hurts u dun feel happier den last time? at least now u have me to love u rite? but the problem is u dun see me loving u…
relationship is not about having the same thoughts, ideals or interest. thats wad a best fren is for. im your boyfren. all these doesnt matter if we try to love each other.
i really want to know wad u are thinking but u juz lie and lie and lie to protect urself? u noe at this point u are more impt den i am to myself? but i think i still rank below u which is, i guess normal ba. but i juz want a little more love.
these past 2 months ive really put everything i have into this relationship… but u suddenly turned cold in one point of time.. when im finally starting to try and understand u. to love u more.. u like turned away from me.. and today’s sms juz shows to me how to view this relationship.
i juz want to say ive never thought that we were a mistake. and i can never lie to u about impt stuff. i juz want u so bad. even though it makes me think u dun want me anymore. i will convert into a sponge and absorb all the hurt u want to throw at me and i will still continue to love u. or love u more to save this. coz i cant bear to leave u. u worth more to me den any pain or sadness. juz tell me and i will do. but for me to do that u have to talk.
please do not be afraid when u see me tmr with eyebags coz i think ill keep my promise and stay awake tonite.. hoping for a i love you text.. but y m i kidding myself? its never going to happen.. haha but false hope is still hope rite? blaga blaga boo. i love you.
